Shifting Dimensions

As we get closer to the release date of Revelations, Book Three of the Azellian Affairs and the world continues to be a very odd place where things are changing so fast no one can keep up, I’ve pondering the question: can we shift dimensions? Or is that just science fiction fantasizing?

Considering that some of the things that our science fiction authors like Isaac Asimov and Arthur C Clarke used to write about HAVE come true (cell phones and pocket computers anyone?), it’s hard to dismiss the notion out of hand. After all, the concept of a wheeled vehicle that can go a hundred miles an hour plus would have seemed like the most insane science fiction to a society dependent on a horses and buggies. Yet science got us there—and there are vehicles that go WAY faster than that. Although there are some REALLY tantalizing possibilities in the realm of quantum physics where alternate dimensions are theorized and even likely, science has not quite yet gotten us to the place that we can hop in our teleporter machine and go to another dimension.

In my own explorations of the highly-unlikely-and-on-the-surface-impossible, I have discovered that it is indeed possible to shift dimensions. It’s simpler than it sounds. And at the same time, much harder. Because it requires us to fully embrace our own selves, fully and completely and to wake up to what is possible. Not always easy. The key is choice. There is a statement I heard somewhere that changed my life once I fully embraced it: we can’t control what happens to us, but we are always free to choose how we experience what happens.

That is the key to shifting dimensions: choice. Do we see those who hurt us as evil jerks who deserve to have their heads chopped off for daring to damage us? Or do we see those who hurt us as struggling beings who are simply echoing the deep damage they experienced in their lives? It’s much easier to find compassion for someone else in pain when we ourselves are able to forgive the pain we’ve caused ourselves and others.

Pain exists. Anyone who says pain is an illusion is desperately hiding from it, hoping it will go away. Pain however, is NOT just that wrenching, ripping, tearing sensation that sears us to the bone. It is—something else. Our relationship with pain evolves and changes as we do, until we relate to it differently. Once that happens, pain becomes an opportunity, a message and a possibility. Even as we hurt, we are no longer afraid of it, and once we are no longer afraid of it … we are free. Free to choose, free to not choose. Free to be, free to not be. Free to do anything at all. We’re even free to hide, although once our relationship with pain changes, hiding becomes rather irrelevant.

The world we each live in is deeply colored by our perspective. To change our perspective, we have to be able to choose. To choose, we have to be willing to change our relationship with pain. Once we do that, freedom is ours.

Having said that, when do I shift to the dimension that I’m living in Italy on the coast enjoying the Mediterranean easy life?!

In my most recent Patreon post, I explore more about shifting dimensions and some of the ways I’ve done so. To find out more, check it (and my other Patreon posts) out below:

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Adagio

I recently wrote a post on my Patreon platform that comes from a very deep place inside of me, and is something that is very important to me, so I am sharing it here on my website as well:

It has been difficult to write this past month. Beyond the personal situations that have played a part in my life this month, there have been some large changes in our laws that have rippled through our country. Shortly before the 246th celebration of our country's birthday and formal declaration of liberation from what was then considered the tyranny of British rule, we have experienced what feels like a huge setback in women's autonomy and freedom. That this change occurred so close to our July 4th holiday only adds to the irony inherent in the change. 

One thing to make clear: I am not interested in the polarity of politics. Each political party is made up of people, who have motivations and priorities and those priorities often clash, sometimes splitting the group into polarized pieces. There are no easy answers to anything. I no more have the answers than our leaders do, and all the upheaval means that people are deeply passionate about what is happening.  

In the midst of the chaos, the shock and the pain that is currently gripping our country, it is time to borrow a concept from classical music: adagio, a moment when we slow everything down and take a breather. As one of my friends and colleagues, Kelly Forsyth, says, "Stop. Breathe. Perceive." Or, as Matt Kahn, one of the teachers that I like to listen to, instructs: "We all deserve more love, not less." This past weekend in a Denver in-person workshop, he also said in another context: "Ask: what is it you are trying to accomplish right now?"   

That question resonates on a deep level, making me ask the question of us as a sentient species: What are we trying to accomplish? Right now, all of the upheaval and chaos and differing opinions can be boiled down to one word: safety. We are all looking for a sense of safety and security. The world is changing. Deeply. Irrevocably. Nothing feels safe and the changes are only accelerating. Not all of us are dealing with it in the same way, and some of the ways that it is being handled can seem painful, scary and hurtful. This past month, I watched (and felt) my elderly father step outside his comfort zone. My empathy gave me a first hand view of his discomfort even as I faced my own training and attempted to do nothing but hold space as he experienced his experiences. How successful was I? Well, considering we absolutely CANNOT fail at living our lives, no matter how we live them, it was a brilliant success. Did I accomplish anything? I have no idea. Did I stop feeling the pain? Not right away. I did, however, successfully disengage myself from his experience so that I was aware of it without being drawn into it. With that, the pain left, giving me the deepest sense of compassion for both of us: each of us physical, spiritual beings who are each on our own paths, connected, but separate. 

There are those of us who are here to hold space. Our deepest divine purpose is to experience and witness as the human race grows into its next stage of evolution. Healing is only possible by facing the pain and coming through it to the other side. From the #MeToo movement to the horrific images of the George Floyd beating to the awful spate of shootings all across the country to the heart wrenching images of war, we are seeing all the places that domination and abuse has been allowed to run rampant through the thousands of years of our collective experience, damaging not just those people who are currently considered political minorities, but every living being in its wake. 

We have an opportunity. We can hold space, knowing that no one is lost, that no one is truly sacrificed, that we are doing this together, that some of us have a different path to walk than others. We can recognize that those who are "doing evil" are deeply afraid, living out a hell of their own making and spreading it to as many people as possible as they go, giving each and everyone of us a chance to decide how we want to live our lives: to engage or not to engage with their pain. It is an interesting quirk of humanity that an evolutionary leap is often predicated by pain. Because it is in the darkest dark that humanity shines, its inborn divinity unquenched and even revealed (by, through, despite?) the horrors that live deep in our psyche. In every darkness is a light, a light that does not harm, but illuminates, bringing sometimes painful healing. But healing, nonetheless.   

My own journey has shown me that every "dark" or "heavy" energy has something that lives on the other side. On the other side of anger is laughter. On the other side of sorrow is peace. On the other side of pain is compassion. A deep compassion that leads to one truth: everyone is a whole, complete, autonomous being. Once we have embraced the light and dark in ourselves, and completely and totally accepted ourselves, even those dark shadows that lurk in our own psyche, that is when we are truly safe. 

Until then, I observe those who are frantically lashing out in an effort to hold onto power in order to feel safe and I say, "I acknowledge the fear, the rage and the hurt and I see the eons of pain and abuse that are being revealed by these actions." We are in this together. Not even those who are angry and hurting deserve to be cut off: there is a deeply hurting human being behind every hurtful action. That also does not mean we need to stay in a situation in which we or anyone else are being abused: we have every right and every responsibility to stand up and be what we want to see in the world. May we all recognize the human soul in each other and recognize our own basic right to make our own choices. As I have learned through my time on Azelle, the will of the patient is paramount. And right now, humanity is the patient. 

How will it play out? I don't know. But I do know I will stand in my perception that this upheaval is a deep healing of very old, collective injuries. The divine feminine comes back to this world and with it, healing of a depth that this world has never seen before. I know to the core of me that we will come out of this stronger, more compassionate and nothing at all like we once were. 

Alawahea. Kyanalira. It is as it was, is and will be. Divine love to us all.   

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10 Thing Readers Would be Surprised to Know About Me

1. I avoided admitting I was a writer for a very long time. Everyone else in my life knew it except for me.

2. I was an Anthropology and French major in college. No English degree for me

3. I could never write short stories until about a year ago. Now I write them all the time.

4. I did accounting and tax prep for seventeen years before deciding that I was going to follow my passion, which is writing. Some of you who already know me know this, because they met me when I had my accounting hat on, but there will come a day that this will be news, because I have left all that behind.

5. Before taking up accounting and tax prep, I worked as a financial aid counselor for my alma mater for five years.

6. I spent 5 months in France in college. I was nearly fluent, but let it go to focus on writing English. I’d love to pick it up again, though. Immersion is the way to go!

7. I’ve read more French literature books than I have English literature. While my high school peers were reading English lit classics, I was taking creative writing.

8. I have never read or seen Game of Thrones. Okay, that’s a lie. I saw one episode. As popular as it is, it requires too much effort to get into the storyline. Yes, I am a lazy reader/TV watcher.

9. I don’t like cold winters. Which made growing up in a place that has worse winters than coastal Alaska problematic.

10. I love hiking. I love the outdoors and spending time in it. Especially after I moved to Colorado, where it is sunny most of the time and amazingly biting-bug free. Sshhh, that’s a secret we who live in Colorado don’t want to get out. Unfortunately, I think it’s already too late as Denver has quadrupled in size since I first moved here.

It's HERE...The Book is Launching

So many changes since I last posted an update! It’s official…my book is launching tomorrow!! After a long journey and lots and lots of details I never knew went into publishing, I have finally reached that milestone…I am published! And Alawahea: The Azellian Affairs Book One is now fully birthed into this plane of existence. To help send this baby of mine on its way, I am also starting a blog tour this month. That means I will be visiting twenty  five or so different blogs over the next month, offering free excerpts, interviews and in general enjoying the wonderful and amazing writers/readers out there who are willing to feature Alawahea on their blogs. Such excitement! I can hardly wait to see how avid readers interact and play with the story.

I will be posting each week with updates on each of the stops. The possibilities are endless…I’m very excited to see how this all plays out! And for those of you who can be there, I look forward to seeing you at the launch. For those of you who can’t, you’ll be with us in spirit. Lots of love to all of you, and see you all in the world of Azelle!

Dissolving Myths: The Editing Process

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Now that the primary jobs I have (my “day jobs”) have eased up a bit, I’ve started to focus again on my writing and the editing process. One of life’s biggest mysteries has always been that I have never carved out time to write. Yet it’s something I just love to do! Why do we typically block ourselves from doing what we love? We create so many excuses! So many “reasons” why NOT to do something, when it’s really that we’re just not willing to give ourselves the time to do something that is so fulfilling, so caring toward ourselves. We allow ourselves to get distracted by the little things in life—whether it be our children, our spouses, our jobs, our hobbies, the news, the plight of those around us—all of those things are nothing more than a distraction from this bigger picture. What do we love? And will we allow ourselves to just do it?

For me, writing is one of the ways in which I express that love. I’ve been writing since I was eight, and been doing it constantly since then. I might take a year off here, a year off there, and the writing might change shape and not look like a novel, but I have been writing since I could write.

There has been nothing more fascinating for me than the actual process of writing and editing. I had told myself, as part of the “excuse” for why I didn’t send my writing in, was the fear of what the editor would say. What if it’s bad? What if they tear it apart? It’s my baby!! I can’t stand the idea that someone might tear apart my baby!

Except that’s not how it worked. My wonderful, amazing, incredible editor instead pointed out the places I already knew the story had holes—which was why I went to her in the first place, for help in realizing the story around the holes. Her questions told me immediately that there were spots I hadn’t explained adequately. Her comments highlighted the areas I hadn’t fully visualized the character, so there might be inconsistencies. Her perspective helped me visualize the somewhat squashed timeline that I had to expand. And her ability to see the overall picture with completely fresh eyes—I wasn’t there to explain the story, so it had to stand on its own—well, all of that was hugely invaluable to me. And in the end, the second edit produced something I had hoped to see: a stronger story that would pop on its own. We are a team, my editor and me…and together we are going to see this story brought into the fullness of what it can be. Thank you, Donna! So glad I found you!

The Journey to Publication

Sara headshot 1 edits

I’m so excited for publication! Today is the launch of my new website!! It’s finally happening; the unfolding of a dream I’ve had since I was a young child. Publishing a story….it’s been with me a long time, the whisper of possibilities in my ear, the ideas about what could be. It’s time to let that out, to see what’s hidden in the whisper of the infinite.

Such a journey it has been—after spending most of my life telling myself I couldn’t do it, and coming up with a thousand reasons why not, I’ve finally woken up to the realization that all of it, the excuses, the reasons, the hundreds of piled of “because’s” were just more stories. Entertaining, but only true if I allowed them to be true. Why not spread my wings and fly? We’ve forgotten that we could have fun with our lives. I’m ready to remember what that feels like!

As I work through the editing/rewrite process all the way to the finished work, I’d like to share the process, the fun and the joys of it all. Allowing loved ones to read what I’d written, getting an editor who would support me in my vision, starting a website, revealing to friends on social media that I’d done these things, getting involved with an entrepreneurial mastermind group….so much support from everyone. My story was that no one knew what I really wanted, that I was hidden from the world. Yet when I told everyone I was stepping onto this path, there was no surprise from anyone. I write. It’s what I love to do. So I’m doing it, following my heart…and the possibilities are infinite.

It’s time to see what we can create when we play! Are we ready for creative power of what if, what then, what more?