Adagio
/I recently wrote a post on my Patreon platform that comes from a very deep place inside of me, and is something that is very important to me, so I am sharing it here on my website as well:
It has been difficult to write this past month. Beyond the personal situations that have played a part in my life this month, there have been some large changes in our laws that have rippled through our country. Shortly before the 246th celebration of our country's birthday and formal declaration of liberation from what was then considered the tyranny of British rule, we have experienced what feels like a huge setback in women's autonomy and freedom. That this change occurred so close to our July 4th holiday only adds to the irony inherent in the change.
One thing to make clear: I am not interested in the polarity of politics. Each political party is made up of people, who have motivations and priorities and those priorities often clash, sometimes splitting the group into polarized pieces. There are no easy answers to anything. I no more have the answers than our leaders do, and all the upheaval means that people are deeply passionate about what is happening.
In the midst of the chaos, the shock and the pain that is currently gripping our country, it is time to borrow a concept from classical music: adagio, a moment when we slow everything down and take a breather. As one of my friends and colleagues, Kelly Forsyth, says, "Stop. Breathe. Perceive." Or, as Matt Kahn, one of the teachers that I like to listen to, instructs: "We all deserve more love, not less." This past weekend in a Denver in-person workshop, he also said in another context: "Ask: what is it you are trying to accomplish right now?"
That question resonates on a deep level, making me ask the question of us as a sentient species: What are we trying to accomplish? Right now, all of the upheaval and chaos and differing opinions can be boiled down to one word: safety. We are all looking for a sense of safety and security. The world is changing. Deeply. Irrevocably. Nothing feels safe and the changes are only accelerating. Not all of us are dealing with it in the same way, and some of the ways that it is being handled can seem painful, scary and hurtful. This past month, I watched (and felt) my elderly father step outside his comfort zone. My empathy gave me a first hand view of his discomfort even as I faced my own training and attempted to do nothing but hold space as he experienced his experiences. How successful was I? Well, considering we absolutely CANNOT fail at living our lives, no matter how we live them, it was a brilliant success. Did I accomplish anything? I have no idea. Did I stop feeling the pain? Not right away. I did, however, successfully disengage myself from his experience so that I was aware of it without being drawn into it. With that, the pain left, giving me the deepest sense of compassion for both of us: each of us physical, spiritual beings who are each on our own paths, connected, but separate.
There are those of us who are here to hold space. Our deepest divine purpose is to experience and witness as the human race grows into its next stage of evolution. Healing is only possible by facing the pain and coming through it to the other side. From the #MeToo movement to the horrific images of the George Floyd beating to the awful spate of shootings all across the country to the heart wrenching images of war, we are seeing all the places that domination and abuse has been allowed to run rampant through the thousands of years of our collective experience, damaging not just those people who are currently considered political minorities, but every living being in its wake.
We have an opportunity. We can hold space, knowing that no one is lost, that no one is truly sacrificed, that we are doing this together, that some of us have a different path to walk than others. We can recognize that those who are "doing evil" are deeply afraid, living out a hell of their own making and spreading it to as many people as possible as they go, giving each and everyone of us a chance to decide how we want to live our lives: to engage or not to engage with their pain. It is an interesting quirk of humanity that an evolutionary leap is often predicated by pain. Because it is in the darkest dark that humanity shines, its inborn divinity unquenched and even revealed (by, through, despite?) the horrors that live deep in our psyche. In every darkness is a light, a light that does not harm, but illuminates, bringing sometimes painful healing. But healing, nonetheless.
My own journey has shown me that every "dark" or "heavy" energy has something that lives on the other side. On the other side of anger is laughter. On the other side of sorrow is peace. On the other side of pain is compassion. A deep compassion that leads to one truth: everyone is a whole, complete, autonomous being. Once we have embraced the light and dark in ourselves, and completely and totally accepted ourselves, even those dark shadows that lurk in our own psyche, that is when we are truly safe.
Until then, I observe those who are frantically lashing out in an effort to hold onto power in order to feel safe and I say, "I acknowledge the fear, the rage and the hurt and I see the eons of pain and abuse that are being revealed by these actions." We are in this together. Not even those who are angry and hurting deserve to be cut off: there is a deeply hurting human being behind every hurtful action. That also does not mean we need to stay in a situation in which we or anyone else are being abused: we have every right and every responsibility to stand up and be what we want to see in the world. May we all recognize the human soul in each other and recognize our own basic right to make our own choices. As I have learned through my time on Azelle, the will of the patient is paramount. And right now, humanity is the patient.
How will it play out? I don't know. But I do know I will stand in my perception that this upheaval is a deep healing of very old, collective injuries. The divine feminine comes back to this world and with it, healing of a depth that this world has never seen before. I know to the core of me that we will come out of this stronger, more compassionate and nothing at all like we once were.
Alawahea. Kyanalira. It is as it was, is and will be. Divine love to us all.
For more information about my Patreon page, please check out the tiers here:
